Seeing the campus teeming with couples all around has me seething with a certain degree of annoyance. If you’re reading this, chances are you’re either single like me or perhaps you have an ex who you want to see suffer. If you’re one of those disgustingly lovey-dovey couples, you might want to look away.


The following is a general guide to making something so vile and wretched that’ll make the person eating it puke and wish they never had taste buds.


Firstly, start with a concoction of ingredients that are usually never used together:


For example, eggs with fish. Smelly fish served with overboiled eggs which have purple yolks. The fish would still have its skin on so it’d be extremely hard to eat.


A milkshake made of eggs and boiled asparagus. This with a pinch of hatred so visceral they would cry.


Sausticle, a novel creation, consisting of boiled sausages and sausage water poured into popsicle molds to create the sausticle. Imagining the taste sent chills down my spine.


Or maybe you’d like to serve them a Pizza with Mint Chocolate, Broccoli, and Pineapple as toppings! Pineapple on pizza has been a long debate about whether it’d be good or bad, maybe it is acceptable on Hawaiian Pizza, but with broccoli and mint chocolate, you’ve got yourself a disaster!


If they loved Cotton Candy as a child, they’d probably enjoy a Cotton Candy Burger. Imagine the juicy grilled patty with cheese and aerified sugar to top it off!


The abominations being conjured up by the vegan community must be used to our advantage here. If they’re an avid non-vegetarian lover, best feed them a vegan lasagna. Now, what in the world is a Vegan Lasagna? Sliced onions, tomatoes, and carrots placed between pieces of iceberg lettuce is not a Lasagna?! It’s just a glorified stacked salad for God’s Sake!


An ice cream aficionado might just be fooled by soya sauce as chocolate sauce. So serve it up with a lovely scoop of vanilla ice cream and remind them of the bitter memories you share 🙂


Though mashed potatoes aren’t much of a thing in this part of the world, a famous recipe consisting of different flavors of chips boiled in water to make mashed potatoes recently went viral. That would be a revolting and vomit-inducing dish to serve your ex!


Arguably the world’s best dish, the biryani, has been desecrated by combining it with sweet items or just straying away from the core tenets of a good biryani. We have seen Nutella Biryani, Biryani with Cadbury Gems, and Pasta Biryani(?????) to list a few. Feeding them these horrific creations would make them cry and regret their life choices.


Let me tell you something about modern Indian food trends, often seen on Instagram reels, we see there exist terrifyingly disgusting food combinations like Maggi cooked in cold drinks such as Fanta and Thums Up. Maggi, considered comfort food by most Indians has been abused and humiliated by people looking to get clout that it’s plain criminal at this point. How would you explain a Maggi milkshake, or sweet Maggi with chocolate ice cream to anyone whose eyes and brain haven’t been corrupted by these food trends? Considering how creative people are, I’m certain that this won’t be the end and more Maggi violations will show up. So this would take the cake to prank your ex with.


In conclusion, you can spread love (or hatred) by sharing food with your loved ones (or hostile ones). It’s safe to say some food combinations can be truly horrific and unappetizing. So best don’t break anyone’s heart!


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