Well, well, well. Something interesting has finally caught your attention in this painfully boring and monotonous life. You dash to the most convenient online marketplace to find the materialistic item that fuels your dopamine rush. These platforms help connect buyers and sellers, sellers who’d sell you anything, ranging from underwear (lightly used) to a locked iPhone (finger included).
Here are a few tips on how to be the ideal customer for any seller:
The first thing you do is never see what you’re gonna purchase in person. Trust the blurry and 2×2 pixel photos posted by the seller. This way you can avoid the hassle of human interaction and directly get the product delivered to your doorstep!
Always, and I mean always, pay the seller in full or some of the amount in advance to book your preferred item, this ensures the seller can’t sell it to anyone else, it’s not like they’re gonna run away with your money and ghost you, right?
And if you somehow meet in person to complete the deal, say the meeting is at 10 pm in the shadiest part of the city. Sure, why not? You may get jumped and someone might stab you, but hey, it was you who was on the quest for the best possible deal.
Always believe whatever the person on the other side is telling you. They’re telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I mean come on, red flags and common sense don’t really apply when you’re getting a steal deal!
“Has the vehicle ever been in an accident?”, you ask. Looking at its run-down condition, but then the seller bundles in free blinker fluid and you gotta believe that’s a bargain!
Never check the price of a product that’s new as it’ll distract you, and urge you to spend more on a new piece instead of getting it for cheaper (even if it’s by 5-10% used)
What even is “too good to be true”? Seeing a brand new scooter listed for 15000 rupees? Buy it. No questions asked. You won’t find a better deal elsewhere.
Go for off-brand products even if you don’t know what’s being put in them, only because they’re cheaper. Prongles sounds more natural than Pringles. There’s no difference between Adidas, Adibas, and Abidas, they’re all the same as long as the logo design is done well.
Choosing the website that offers the best deal even though you have no guarantee of the product turning out right is something you should do to get the best possible deal.
Now, if someone is giving anything away for free, and all you have to do is enter your sensitive information, that’s amazing! Sure, identity theft and phishing may be a problem, but not having to pay is always better than having to shell out cash!
People make buying from an online marketplace seem trickier and harder than it is for no reason whatsoever. It can be as simple as you want to make it. Do yourself a favor and simplify it.