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Overturning paradigms and how we need to deal with them.:-(The long version)
We’ve all at some point of time or the other rooted for the hero who would swoop down all suave knight in shining armour, save the damsel in distress,fighting against the villain and then collecting his reward who is the girl.
Then we have popular music and culture clearly defining women as property,pretty things who cannot take care of themselves,who are incomplete without their male counterparts.
Whats going on here?
Are we not empowering women?
Are we not equipping them with what they need to deal with the world???
What we have assumed is it is easier for us to change women and how they deal with situations i.e.,change the reaction and not the stimuli.
And in this case stimuli is more often than not a man who thinks,
“She is just a woman,helpless distraught and emotional.
What can she change,this is just how the world works.”
(I’d like to say otherwise, but studies show that such men suffer from serious foot-in-mouth syndrome ,symptoms show once every 6 seconds-just kidding 😉 )
But,the question is how did he get so stupid?
Is it passed on genetically with the Y-chromosome (male dominated pig-headedness)?
(You think i am being too harsh?
Well it comes from years of hearing what women can’t do,I dealt with it,hope you can for the duration of this rant .)
So who is the culprit?
Apparently we all are.
We ignore the subtle cues we give to children ,a look of smug pride when people look at a boy playing,a look of distaste or surprise when a girl is doing something she likes and not conforming.That one look or action or word (“you just can’t”) are picked up by children fast,quickly creating a sense of superiority in boys and inferiority in girls,we forget how impressionable they are and hence patriarchy just doesn’t die down.
Gone are the days when women had to be protected from the world to protect the survival of our species,but as women grow more and more independent a rising sense of insecurity is seen in men because their “superiority” or  “leadership” is threatened and questioned by a “mere” woman.
The role reversal of sorts, is scaring them,and they lash out in (un)predictable (unpredictable for our political leaders, predictable for psychologists) manners (molestation ,rape and gender crime).
They are scared that what they think is true women are slowly dominating men in all fields because our sensitivity,tolerance and emotions which were once considered a hamartia have now increasingly become desirable and essential to deal with the needs of the masses.
To anyone who is interested how this is actually coming about in marketing and otherwise please read “Re-Imagine” by Thomas J. Peters.
So how do we rewire how we are trained?
Make it acceptable for boys to lose to girls once in a while,not that they patronize us and let us win, rather their loss should not mean they are not “men”.(and let them cry once in a while,no shame in that either)
Redefine the meaning of “like a girl“,which currently means weak ,silly and pretentious to strong, confident and self-sufficient.
In a TedX talk by Colin Stokes it was shown clearly how Disney(until recently my favorite cartoon channel was responsible in this misinformation of children.)
How often is it that a teacher or a professor has hinted that women don’t need to work as hard,to study to bother with marks because it won’t make any difference in the long run,because we won’t use the degree anyways?
Wasn’t the same shown in the teen favorite flick “student of the year”,that the supporting female lead shouldn’t have been that competitive or that focussed because in the end she would just be a housewife?
It was then i realised that all the cartoons that i watched and 
loved as a kid -“Johnny Bravo”,”Ed ,Edd and Eddy”,”Samurai Jack” were also pretty biased,not to mention “Tom and Jerry,”Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse” and many others,which makes me wonder how has this shaped me and my take on the world?
Am I biased in situations when I don’t realise it?
Look around you,how often do you see girls playing on the college grounds?
Nobody stops them,then what is preventing them?
Do they not like to play?
Of Course they do,but then the world seems kinder to you if you maintain your poise don’t play hard,don’t show your competitive side,be comfortable in the sidelines.
There are people who are constantly battling these biases,constantly working harder ,who persevere and achieve.
Indra Nooyi ,Mary Kom,Sania Mirza and many more women waging a war against gender discrimination.We shouldn’t have to explain ourselves or our actions and we shouldn’t be expected to fill roles that were defined by patriarchy that was born from insecurity and primal fear and we should not be paid less just because we are the “fairer ” sex.(Am I the only one who has a problem with the way that sounds?)
Make it easier for the future generations by being the change we need in this world. 🙂
