From the beginning of everything, all I wished for,

Was to be anything other than a phenomenon.

All I wanted was to be alive and be missed,

But I only have one path now, I march on.


Constant and ever-flowing, you think I’d feel nothing.

Neither love nor hate, neither fear nor anger.

But as I keep marching, I sense a tiny bit of everything.

As to why I even have feelings, I have no answer.


The joy that you feel when you laugh freely,

The love you feel when you hold their hands shyly,

Or the pain of losing someone dearly,

Will I ever experience these emotions for what they are truly?


I feel overwhelmed, with experiences of all beings combined,

Incredible highs and extreme lows hit me at the same instant.

And despite having an eternity to practice,

I will never be able to predict what I’d feel the next moment.


I feel helpless, as some of you thrash with all your might against me,

To evade death and live on long after your passing.

At the end of your lives, you seek in vain, for remembrance and glory,

But nothing ever remains, for which I am responsible and truly sorry.


I feel a desire to change, despite knowing that I am incapable of it.

The desire to slow down at your highest, So you experience joy for longer.

The desire to speed up in your lows, So you feel pain for shorter.

And the desire to rest, if possible, forever.


I feel lonely, for I have never had a conversation,

And Death, my only company, keeps to herself.

Her presence reminds me that I am not alone in this misery,

But we have not bonded over it so it’s only myself.


But among all, I feel bewilderment the most because,

Unlike me, you don’t have an eternity, and you spend it worrying,

Instead of appreciating the wonders that you get to experience.

You will get through your problems, but you will never get me back.


And despite all this, I sometimes wonder if my feelings even matter?

For all I have done so far, is march in these shackles,

And If not for my dreams that shine bright through the darkness,

My existence wouldn’t have been very far from lifeless.


And when I see you hopeful and optimistic,

Full of gratitude life and appreciation,

I cannot express how much strength you give me,

For, if I get a chance to live like that, the wait of an eternity is worth it.


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