[???]- “Here we have an organism in his natural habitat, staring at a blank screen in the darkroom desperately searching for things to write abou-”
(Before he could continue the angry writer interrupted him.)
[Writer]- “For the love of God, please let me come up with something.”
[???]- sighs “have at it.”
[Writer]- “How about a fan fiction of ‘Rick and Morty’ where the planet they end up on is-”
[???]- “Ah, how original. Would you also like to write brain dead fan-fics of other popular shows?”
[Writer]-” Then, about current affairs?”
[???]- “I’ll cut your wrists if you do that.”
[Writer]- “……something cringy about the interpersonal relations between people and lov-”
[???]- “You do realize that people don’t love you enough to even read your stuff right?”
[Writer]- “Jesus Christ dude, take it easy with the self-loathing.”
[???]- whispers “Pshhh for now.”
[Writer]- “What?”
[???]- “NOTHING!!”
[Writer]- “What if I write a story where the character ages in reverse and after every 5 years he has to send a message to his younger self? I’ll try to leave a nice message about life at the end.”
[???]- “Will you be delivering the message with something sarcastic or comedic so that you won’t be crying yourself to sleep EVERY time you remember the article?”
[Writer]- “No, I will just try to express it openly for once.”
[???]- “Are you kidding me? You do realize that people who read your stuff are not going to be in the same frame of mind as you, they don’t know what inspired you to write about these things nor are they going to experience the same feelings as you when they get to the meat of the article. Is it not your job to get them into that zone? Why are you trying to articulate your thoughts like some all-knowing prick with a god complex?”
[Writer]- “But I wanted the end message to be-“
[???]- “But what? What’s with the weird obsession to reach a large scale conclusion about things you, yourself, are still not sure about? “
[Writer]- “…you do know that there was a time when you actually helped me instead of being a jerk who just lists out things.”
[???]- “….”
[Writer]- “Wait, that’s the thing- I can write about you, and your interactions with me.”
[???]- “Sounds kind of forced, doesn’t it?”
[Writer]- “I don’t care. Introduce yourself.”
[???]- Tsk “Hi. I am this month’s contrived plot device from a guy who’s running out of ideas, I am the inner voice of the guy writing this.”
[Writer]- “Perfect. Now, I just need to come up with some message.”
[Inner voice]- “Really dude? We are going back to that?”
[Writer]- “I’m sorry I can’t help it. Please help me for this once.”
[Inner voice]- sighs “Just say that you’re your greatest critic and no matter what other people do, they will never be able to hate you or your work more than you, so try your best. Just try to dial down the emo aspect of this and use nice words.”
[Writer]- “I’ll leave it like that, it’s fine.”
[Inner voice]- “WHAT? NO NO NO, please work on it.”
[Writer]- “Bye, see you tomorrow.”
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